An undelivered letter 一封没寄出去的信

Generally, she is healthy, no hBp, no diabetic, good appetite, good memory (better than me)，though legs muscles weaken,but can walk about without help
基本上她还算健康，没有高血压，没有糖尿，好胃口，记忆良好（比我还好），脚虽点弱，还能步行自然

Dear friends,

How are you? I guessed all of you are well and jolly.

I have visited your mother today, and she was tears welling as always. She has "shrunk" further and her voice was distinctly weaker.

She repeatedly telling me "asking God to take me away, life is no meaning at all". However, she still longing one of you would take her home. She has packed all her belongings in plastic bags and placed them on the bed, so when the day comes, she can leave this place immediately.

I have spoken to her that when she dies, I would not attend her wake, would not attend her funeral .... I have done my part as an old friend, visiting and comforting her when possible. What I do after her death is no importance at all, it is for show to the living only. But deep down in my heart, it is my reluctance to see her filial children "sad faces" at her funeral ......that preventing me to do so.

I understand the difficulties that you children face looking after old people. But visiting her at the old folks home, showing care and concern is least you guys can do, and the only thing she is looking for .... She is feeling being abandoned!

One of the workers told me that, your mother was feeling down and sad whenever she saw visitors coming with food and .....LOVE to see their loved ones.

When I told you guys your mother's feeling and yearning to be home the first time you sent her to a Home, I knew that you all took me as a busy body and trouble maker.

Inspite of our friendship, especially your mother with me, none of you informed me whenever she was sent into a Home or changing of one Home to another.... I am a busy body and trouble maker.

If she were to continue to be "trapped and suffered" in old folks home, I sincerely wish that God would grant her wish .... she is more than 80 years old, and has had enough....

May peace be with you all.


亲爱的朋友们，

你们好吗？猜想你们的生活都快乐逍遥吧。

我今天去探访了你们的妈妈，她依然是以泪洗脸，更消瘦了。她说话的声音有点微弱了。

她依旧在说，希望天主早日把她接离这个世界，因为她觉得生活没有意义了。但她仍然希望你们能够把她接回家，所以她的随身物，都已装在塑胶袋里面，等着你们的到来，以最快的时间，离开这老人院。

我 告诉她，假如真的天主召她回去，我不会去她的灵前悼念，也不会去送殡，也不会流泪。。。因为我于她在生之年，尽了一位朋友对长者关爱之情。人活着做的才是 真，死后才做，那是给别人看的，没意思 。。。其实，更主要的原因，是我不要看到你们这些『孝子孝女』那副死后才流露的“真情”。

我明白你们照顾一位老人面对的各种问题，而决定送她进入老人院。但常去探望她及关怀她，你们应该做的到。。。这就是她最需要的。她觉得被抛弃了。。。。。

其中一位负责人告诉我，她见到其他的老人常有亲人来访，你们的妈妈确实是有失落感，而加剧了她的伤感。

打从多年前，你们把她放进老人院时，我把她的恐惧感受及希望回家的渴望，向你们述说之后，我就知道你们把我看成是多管闲事的麻烦制造者。

往后，你们再把她送进老人院的时候，你们的兄弟姐妹都不会通知我，转换老人院也不告诉我 。。。免得我给你们麻烦。

假如她仍然还得继续的留在老人院受苦，我的确希望天主垂怜及垂听她的祷告，给她平安的离开这个世界 。。。。80多岁的她，已经是受够了！

祝你们平安。