Monday, December 1, 2008

This is life 这是人生

My hand phone was ringing this morning at about 3:15 am. Something urgent and not so good.

I went to bed about 12:30 am. Awakened after a while. Something crossed my mind... personal matter..... I remembered holding my head and calling to God:" Look at me, God, have pity on me...why???? where are you???" I was not dreaming. It was something disturbing me... too personal to share.

I calmed myself, telling myself "go back to sleep.....Z z zZ zz..".

Just fallen to sleep and the phone rang. It was Cecilia who was looking after Fr. Leo Chang in the Hospital. Fr. Leo Chang was re-admitted to hospital on Sunday morning due to deteriorating condition.

"Simon.... can you come over to see Fr.? I don't know what to do... he is shivering and shaking..."

"Have you call the nurse......" the line cut off.

Immediately my wife and I left for hospital. Frankly I was in a daze.

We did not say a word in the car but we knew what was in each other's mind and expected the worse.

Reached the Hospital after half an hour. When we reached Fr.'s room, it seemed quiet. A sign of relief......when I opened the door, saw Fr. was sleeping on bed and hearing his heavy breathing. We heaped a heavy sign!

Cecilia told us the nurse has given some drug to Fr and seemed OK now. We did not know what happened or caused it. Cecilia was very frighten that might have lost Fr. earlier.

Fr. was breathing heavily on oxygen. Once in a while, he would open his eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling. Not acknowledging our presence.

I looked at Fr.... thinking of myself. Will I be like him in 10 years...15 years... 20 years.. who will look after me? who to call in emergency liked just now...... May be I am thinking too much.

We went home at 5:30 am. Age is catching up. Tired and sleepy but got to go to office at 9.

Hardly sat down on my office chair, a call from a friend. It was a long talk (an hour) about problem she has with children.... Haaaiiiiiya... bringing up children is not an easy task. Life is not easy at all.

This is life. Life must go on. After the call ended, I left the office to collect payment from customers.... money - life - live.

This is reality... This is life! Life is still beautiful despite hardship, suffering and pain. Faith, Hope and Charity are graces from God for us to live a beautiful life ! Life is worth living :D



我的手机把我吵醒,看看时间,是凌晨三点十五分。应该是紧急来的不好消息。

我在十二点半左右上床睡觉。睡了片刻,就醒了过来。脑子被一些个人事情困扰。我还记得双手紧抓头部,呼唤着上主:“上主,看看我吧!可怜我。。。为什么?。。你在哪里?”。我不是做梦,是某些事情在困扰着我。这是私隐,不便分享。

我告诉自己,冷静下来,回到睡眠去。。。要睡 Z zzzz Z z z zzz.

刚刚睡下,电话就响了。这是 Cecilia 打来的。她是在医院陪伴及照顾张神父。张神父在星期天,因为病情恶化,而再次进入医院。

"Simon, 你可以来看神父吗?我不知道要怎样做。。。他在抽筋,发抖。。。“

”你有叫护士来看吗。。。。。”电话断线了。

我和太太马上换装,赶往医院去。老实说,当时我的头脑还是混沌沌的。

路上我和太太都没说话,但我们都知道对方脑子里在想什么,也准备了最坏的打算。

半个小时后,我们到达了医院。当我们走到神父的病房门口,是静悄悄的,紧绷的心情,松了一些。打开了门,看到神父躺在床上睡着。。。还听到他沉重呼吸声,看来没有大事发生,嘘了口气。

Cecilia 告诉我们,护士已经给了神父一些药物,看来他的情形好了很多。他们也不知道刚才的情况是什么原因引起。她当时是非常的害怕,害怕失去了神父。

神父是有氧气辅助呼吸,呼吸声很重,偶尔会张开眼睛,凝视天花板。。张开口。。。他没有对我们的在场有任何表示或反应。他的目光是空洞的。

我望着神父。。。想到自己。我在十年后,十五年或二十年后,会不会好些张神父般?谁会来照顾我?。。像在这个紧急的时候,该去找谁?。。。。可能我想的太多了。

我们在五点半回到家,也不能入眠了。我得如平时半的起来工作,九时就要到办事处。可能是年纪大了,觉得很疲倦和想睡。

到了办公室,刚坐下,就接到朋友的来电。整一小时的谈话,她数说了孩子的问题。。。。哎呀呀。。抚养孩子不是件容易的事,生活本来就是不容易。

这是人生, 生活还是得要过。谈话结束后,我得出去向顾客收账。钱。。。人生。。。生活。

这是现实,这是生活。虽有痛苦 、悲伤 、艰辛,但人生还是美好的。天主赏赐了我们信 、望 、爱 三德,就是要让我们能过美好的生活。人生是值得去活的!


4 comments:

Ngu said...

“想到自己。我在十年后,十五年或二十年后,会不会好些(比?)张神父般?谁会来照顾?。。”,西满,你的这句话触动了我的“要害”。说实在,我不怕病,不怕痛,只怕倒床要人服待。祈求天主别让我如此。

William

Simon Phun said...

是的,祖厚,这就是我,你(许多人)的担忧。但如何终结,不是我们控制的范围。祈求天主赐于坚强的心态,去面对一切吧。

Mary said...

嘿!年轻人,为何这么忧郁?不是说:天主掌管一切吗?明天的忧虑交给明天吧!一天的苦足够一天受了。

Simon Phun said...

就是因为把一切交给天主,才会去问他“为什么?”;“你在哪里?”。。。。不过,人是会有软弱,低落和彷徨的时候,圣人都是会有的,因为是人嘛!

谢谢,没事了:D