我没记得剧名是什么，只看到是赵薇主演（因还珠格格而认识这位演员），也记得其中一句对白。这是母亲和女儿争吵是的对白：“ 我的所有这样做，是为了你好。。。”， “你就是只会说这句话，什么都是为我好，但是你有问过我的感受好不好吗？。。。。”
记得整二十年前吧，那是农历新年的除夕。我骑上脚车，在后座铁架载了当时只有五岁的儿子政安 ( Jonathan)，出去街上看看新年除夕的年景。当时他还有点不愿意，但我想父子俩应该一同出去走走看，对新年的美丽景象留点回忆。因他是坐在后面，除了叫他抱紧我，我还用一只手抓紧他。
对我的孩子，及所有在父母的“为你好”的观念下，受苦及伤害的其他孩子们，说声对不起，请原谅我们。但是，我们确实是要为你们好 的！ ：D
Innocently displayed his leg wound
Hardly two weeks later.......with younger sister
On Sunday afternoon, I was surfing Astro TV channels. I stopped at Celestial. It was a Mandarin drama. There was an argument between a mother and daughter. A dialogue attracted me: " I did all these for your good.." " You always say for my good.. do you ever bother to know if am I feeling good too.........".
This was a powerful dialogue and sounded familiar. Aren't we parents always saying so to our children? When our children requested us to buy something which they liked, such as shoes, clothes, toys..... usually their demands are rejected, maybe because of the price, suitability of the items but more so because we want to teach our children the value of money and the virtue of thriftiness.
We also reject children's request of going out, meeting friends and other activities for their own good. We want to protect them from being cheated, from mixing with bad company and from getting hurt. We make decisions for their good but without considering their feelings.... are they feeling good? are they happy with our decisions?
Recalling one Chinese New Year's Eve about twenty years ago. I rode on a bicycle with my son, Jonathan ( 5 years old) on the back seat to the town to have a look at the New Year decorations. My thoughts then was to have a nostalgic father-son outing on a bicycle on a new year's eve. He was a bit reluctant but after some coaxing, he tagged along. I instructed him to hold me tight and one of my hands was holding him too.
Half way through the journey, I noticed the bicycle was slowing down and needed more effort to peddle. Then I heard my son's voice as if complaining something.... I stopped. To my horror, one of his legs has stucked in between the wheel and the frame bar of the bicycle. His right foot was bruised and sustained superficial skin injury. I quickly brought him to the hospital. Luckily, he was wearing shoes thus prevented from more serious injury. After cleaning and bandaging, we returned home. That Chinese New Year, he received special treatment of being carried around places. Recalling the incident, although no serious injury and my son took it bravely, I still have chill in my heart.
Sometimes we think we are doing something good to our children, but it brings no good at all. Exterior physical pain is light compared with the more serious inner pain it causes by our action.
Parenting is not a simple matter. It is not about good or no good only. No one is born with good parenting skill. No standard set of rules and guidelines for parents. We progressed through learning and making mistakes. Parenting is laughter and tears, happiness and sorrow, and it is a noble, natural and worthwhile responsibility.
Despite all these, the truth is always there : The love of parent for their children is genuine, affectionate, self-giving and for the good of their children at all times. It is universal and it is human.
To my children and all children who have suffered under our "for your good" principle, my apology and seeking your forgiveness..... But, we do it for your good...really, sincerely! :D
After all, the lives of parents are dedicated for the good and happiness of their children !