Thursday, May 22, 2008

Great Love 忠贞不渝

I (...) take you (...) to be my wife/husband, I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

This is the Catholic wedding vow. This is a solemn promise, pledge, swear made in front of God.

I know a couple who really live out their vow
"for better, for worse...... in sickness and in health".

KC (non-Christian) was then a lively, humorous and happy young man in the late thirties. I got to know him about seven years ago.... on a
hospital bed in ICU at Sunway Medical Center. He was paralysed by a ruptured tumor in the brain. He was unable to talk or move, unable to breath on his own. He survived by being hooked on to a respirator through an opening at his throat. His family brought him fr
om his hometown Kuching, hopeful of getting better medical treatment at Sunway Medical Center.. Accompanied him was his wife, YL.. She stayed by his bedside throughout the day and night, wiping and cleaning him whenever was necessary.

I was informed by a friend in Kuching of KC's admission to Sunway Meidcal Center,and requested us to visit them and offer assistance if necessary. My wife and I visited them many times. He was able to response by moving his mouth and communicating with the assistance of his wife.

After one month,
when his condition stabilized, the family moved him back to Kuching. He was still not able to move nor breath on his own and needed 24-hour care. We promised to visit him in Kuching when he got better.

Five years passed
and in March 2007, my wife and I visited him at home in Kuching. His condition has improved very much although he was still unable to mov
e and required oxygen at night but was able to talk through the throat opening. He was jovial, humorous and lived life zestfully. We also witnessed the loving and tender care of his wife towards him. He was very happy of our visit and hoped that we can come to visit him again.

Three weeks ago, I received a call from YL informing me that KC has been admitted to ICU in Normah Hospital Kuching. He was diagnosed with lung cancer. His condition was critical. It was a lightning shock to the family and us as well. I wanted to visit him immediately but was tied down with other commitments. On Friday, 17 May 2008, I made a day trip to Kuching to visit him in the hospital. He was weak, sunken but manged to smile to acknowledge my presence. He made sure his brothers took me for lunch and keep me co
mpany.

His caring wife was there by his bedside from dawn to dusk to take care of him everyday. His sister and brothers were always there too. It was very different from the last time we met. His voice (through the throat opening) was hardly audible. He slept most of the time. I was unable to talk to him much except holding his hands and prayed silently for God's mercy. He is suffering, his wife is suffering, his sister and brothers are suffering too. But they steadfastly taking care and loving him as always be.

When I bid him goodbye at the end of the day, I was very sad
as I knew that this could be our last goodbye. I held his hand and touched his face.....for a long long time. It was a sad goodbye. May God blessed you and your family with peace and mercy.


Throughout the years, his wife faithfully and silently stood by him, giving him 24 hours care and company. The other members of the family and relatives also provided their care and support.I could feel the tremendous love when I was with them.

They
are unique and special people. They lived out their ordinary lives in an extraordinary way. They lived out the most wonderful love of humanity. They are our inspiration.
(see Goodby my friend 3/8/2008)






我只能握住他的手,默默的祝福。。。
I could only hold his hand, pray silently...





我认识了一对这样的夫妇,真正的活出了婚姻的誓言。

KC当时是一个三十多岁的年轻人,活泼,幽默及好动。我第一次见到他时,是在双威医药中心(Sunway Medical Centre) 的深切护理病床上。他是因突发的脑肿瘤破裂,而整个身体瘫痪,不能说话,全身不能移动。他不能够自己呼吸,需要靠在喉咙处开个洞,藉着机器的帮助,才能够呼吸。

他的家人把他从家乡古晋,送到双威医药中心,希望能够接受更完备的医疗照顾。陪伴他过来的有他的太太YL及他的姐姐。因为他全身不能移动,所以他的太太是一整天的在医院陪伴着他,服侍他无微不至。

我是在一位古晋的朋友通知下,知道他进入本地医院,希望我能给去探访他们,给予任何需要的帮助。我和太太去过拜访他们好几次。他只能挪动嘴唇及借助太太的帮助,和我们沟通。

一个月后,他的情况稳定了,家人决定把他带回古晋的Normah Hospital继续接受治疗。我们也承诺在他的病情进步时,会过去探访他。

转眼五年过去了。在去年(2007)的三月,我和太太到古晋的家探访了他。他的情况已经进步了很多。他可以透过喉咙的切口,和我们交谈。他好谈,充满喜乐,而且对生活也充满热爱。在此同时,我们也看到他太太YL,仍然的对他照顾的体贴,无微不至。他非常高兴我们能够来探望他,也希望我们能够再来。

在三个星期前,我接到YL的电话,告诉我KC突然进了医院,在受到深切看护,而且情况严重。原来他被诊断是得了肺癌。这对家人及我们,真是晴天霹雳!

我想马上过去看他,但当时因有很多事务缠身,不能如愿成行。在本月的十七号,我到古晋一天,专程的去看望他。我看到了非常柔弱的他,消瘦了许多,很幸苦才从喉咙发出微弱的声音。但是他还是很高兴的看到了我,以微笑来回应我的出现。他还非常关心的吩咐他的弟弟,要带我出去吃午餐,并且好好的招呼我。

和去年拜访他时,相差太远了。他瘦弱,不能言语,大部分时间都是在休眠。我不能和他谈些什么,也不能做些什么,只能握着他的手,抚摸他的脸,默默的为他祈祷,祈求仁慈的天主慈悲,赐他平安。

他的太太YL仍然的是从早到晚在旁服侍着。七年了,不离不弃,在他身边,抹脸,清痰,按摩胫骨,无微不至。他的姐姐及弟弟也常来相伴。他是在苦难中,他的太太及家人也同样的在受苦。但是,我可以看到的,也可以感受到的,就是他们对KC无私的爱及支持。

在傍晚,是我要离开的时候了。当我向他道别的时候,我知道这可能是我们最后一次的相聚和告别了。 我默默的握住他的手。。。。很久很久。。。。我是充满伤感。这是一个悲伤的告别,我只能祈求天主,祝福他及家人,平安及毅力。

这对夫妇实在令我敬佩。他们是对平常人夫妇,但却非平常的活出了他们的生命。他们活出了人性的伟大及忠贞不渝,完美的爱。他们是我们的好榜样。

(参看3/8/2008 再见我的朋友


2 comments:

Pauline said...

I have still a lot to learn from YL and KC and their families of their untiring love and tender care of KC. It is easier to preach than to do but this is one big family that I admire and I wish I can emulate even if it is only a fraction of what they have done. I wish YL and family members abundance grace from God, Who knows best.

J.Q said...

My highest respect to them.