Friday, May 15, 2009

你的妈妈呢? where is your mama ?

一位朋友笑对我说,孩子将会在母亲节带她出去吃晚餐。她害怕增磅,自虐是庆祝“母猪节”。

我也笑说,母亲节最大的赢家是商家,他们这个时候,生意兴隆,犹如“猪笼入水”,倒是名副其实的“母猪节”。

我再笑说,其实母亲节也称为“无亲节”。她愕然。我说,母亲节是给那些一年三百六十四天,没见父母亲的孩子,没关心过父母的孩子,那些"不知道爸妈的晚餐吃得是什么菜” 的孩子一个补偿的机会,所以,也可以称为“无亲节”。她说我胡说八道。

其实只要你母亲还健在,每天都是母亲节。树欲静而风不止,子欲养而亲不在,莫等到母亲不在了,才在母亲节里想母亲。那是傻瓜。

我的母亲在我十五岁的时候逝世了。。。那是很久 、很久以前的事了。现在想起来,妈妈的印象也越来越模糊了。

不过,我到现在还很清晰的记得妈妈的几个令我刻骨铭心的特点:

妈妈是一个很慈祥善良的人。可能今天已经没有人会向邻居借米 、油这类事情了。有的话,也只是电视剧里,男 、女想互相认识的一种伎俩而已。四、五十年前,这是很平常的事。当时因为人们的生活都很穷困,只有在发薪的时候,才有能力购买家庭需要的物资,用完了,就需要等到下个月的“出糧”才再去购买。所以,很多时候,材 、米 、油 、盐比预期的早用完,那就得像邻居暂借了。

妈妈三十多岁就守寡,大哥十七岁就要出来工作养家,八个孩子,确实是抓襟见肘。有时自己的米缸也都有限,但假如邻居过来借,妈妈从不拒绝。有时邻居也“忘记”还了,但她从不埋怨。

妈妈没和人结恨或说人坏话。当我们和别家孩子打架时,不管我们对还是错,一定会受到妈妈处罚。在妈妈的眼里,打架是不好的事。妈妈没有仇人 、从没和人吵架。

妈妈非常有知识。妈妈不是大学生,可能连小学都没读完。但我还记忆犹新的,妈妈每天都看报纸。数十年前,报纸不是没个人都可能读到的,但妈妈应该是每天都买报纸来看。所以她一定是很有知识的人。

这点,可以从她常常帮人写信就可知道。邻人假如有收到信件,如外地孩子 、亲人,或者中国亲戚有信来,都会来找妈妈代读及代回信。她从来不拒绝任何人在这方面的要求。(妈妈去世后,这工作就由我接过)。

妈妈抽烟。很奇怪,那个年代,很多妇人家抽烟,妈妈是其中一位。她抽的是“白唛 Capston” 及“打猎Rough rider”. 我有时常到店里帮妈妈买香烟。

妈妈的温暖。那个年代,我们睡的都是板床。这是名副其实的由整十片木板摊在三个床脚组成的床。我下去还有两个弟弟,他们和妈妈一起睡。但我会常常的过来“搭床”。因为刚好容下三个人,我就睡在床的下端,(打横睡在他们的脚下端)。这是一个很温暖的享受,和妈妈一起的温暖。到今天,每当我想起,心中还有一阵暖意。

妈妈是个坚强的女人。妈妈年轻守寡,抚养八个孩子,确实是不容易。爸爸是位划木工人,在一次意外中,被倒下的树打死,当时妈妈肚里还怀着最小的弟弟。

我只能在记忆中,在怀念中,在婆娑的绿叶中,掠过的风中,追忆妈妈。

你的妈妈呢?

我的父母 My parents


A lady friend told me her children were bringing her out for dinner on Mother's day. She was afraid of putting on weight ... she called it a " Mother pig's day".

I jokingly said that Mother's day also known as "No Mother's day". It was a day for people who did not see their mother 364 days of the year; who did not know what was parents eating for dinner.... So they were actually celebrating "No Mother's day".

Whatever it is, as long as your mother is still alive, every day is mother's day. Do not think of your mother on Mother's day only especially when your mother is no long around. It is stupid.

My mother passed away when I was 15. It was such a long long time ago... she is fading and blurring in my memory........

But I still remembered clearly few outstanding qualities of my mother:

My mother was a kind and charitable lady. Borrowing rice and cooking oil from your neighbour is not common nowadays. You could see it in TV drama only as tactic to know a boy or a girl, but it was very common fifty years ago. Life was difficult then. People bought their rations or necessity on pay day only. If supply ran out before the next pay day, they have to borrow from the neighbours or friends.

We were very poor. My mother widowed at a young age, my eldest brother was 17 and needed to work to support the family. My mother never refused request from any neighbour even her own rice container was almost empty. She never complained of neighbour who "forgotten" to return.

My mother had no enemy or bad mouthed others. When we had fight with other children, whether right or wrong, we will be punished. Fighting was a terrible thing for her. She never talked bad of others and quarreled with any one.

My mother was very knowledgeable. She was not a graduate, or even finished primary school. But she read newspaper everyday. At those days, newspaper was a luxurious. She must be very knowledgeable by reading newspaper everyday.

This can be proven by her reading letters for neighbours and friends. Many villagers would seek her help to read for them letters sent by their outstation children, relatives from outstation and China. And she would reply according to their dictation. She refused no one requesting for help. (I took over her job after her passing.)

My mother was a smoker. Quite unbelievable on those day, many ladies smoked. My mother smoked "Capstan" and "Rough Rider". I used to buy cigarette for her.

Mother meant tender love and warm. Those days we slept on wooden bed - literally on bed made up of about 10 pieces of wooden blanks. My two younger brothers slept with my mother. But on many occasions, I would squeezed in and slept at the end of the bed - space between their legs and wall. It was warm and comfortable. Be with your mother was the most heart warming moments.

My mother was a strong woman. She was widowed at thirty plus. My father was a timber cutter and died in a work accident. He was struck by a fallen tree. My mother was expecting her 8th child (my youngest brother) when my father died. Bringing up 8 children was a tough task.

I can only think of my mother in my memory, in the deep of the night ....

Where is your mother?


4 comments:

老楞佐 said...

很感人的回憶!
雖然短短的時日與媽媽相處,
但卻能把這些小事記得,很棒!
你像媽媽,體格像爸爸。
你認為呢?

符致明 said...

Thank you very much for sharing, Uncle Simon. Now I have more knowledge bout my maternal grandma. Oh, I really missed that picture of grandpa and grandma; only saw it once and that was ages ago. :)

Simon Phun said...

老愣佐,你的观察应该对吧!天下的妈妈都是一样的!祝福天下的妈妈健康快乐。

Simon Phun said...

Foo Chee Ming... your grandmother must be speaking to you in English ??!!:D

I am sure she loved you and watched over you to protect you too.